Mommie Dearest…..

So I normally try to upload my weekly post on Wednesday or Thursday but this one is a little late because my mom was visiting me for a week. I couldn't think of a topic this week until my mom left and then it hit me-I’ll write about my mommy!

I have written about her before- on our last vacation together in April. It was the first time in a long time that I wasn't short with her or found that everything she did annoyed me. I thought maybe it was because I was coming out of a funk I’d been in for a very long time. That was partially true, but I also think a large part of it is that I’m just a grown up now.

My mom lives in a different city than I so I don’t get to see her all that often, although we talk quite a bit. She came to visit last Friday and we were both unsure how it would go if she stayed a whole week. A weekend is usually OK but a whole week seemed like an interesting challenge……

Much to both her and my surprise, it was a really great week! We went on a boat ride down the river, went to see some nature exhibits, and had a great time shopping and just catching up. It really felt like our relationship had changed for the better.

I’m not exactly sure when the “shift” happened, but I don’t think it was a defined moment-it seemed like a gradual change that happened over a number of years that sort of reached a high point not that long ago. I really hope it continues because truthfully it’s been a long road.

I am an only child and as such, was somewhat overprotected when I was a kid, to which my mother will agree to. I know that she and my dad did it out of love because they were grateful to have me after some bumps in the road. However, we do agree that it has caused me to be somewhat “behind” when it comes to trying new things and not being a big ol’ fraidy cat. But even though I may consistently be a little late to the party, I do eventually get there.

My mom stayed home with me when I was growing up, and I think even though we were together ALL THE TIME, in the end it’s benefited me greatly, and we are both grateful that we were able to have that opportunity, when so many other mothers and daughters don’t. She taught me the alphabet and a few basic things before I started school, and I’m not sure how many other 5 year olds get to act out Shakespeare and Tennyson. It was just a regular fun day with mommy for me.

We did not always get along, in fact I believe when I was around 10 or 11 I consistently referred to her as “ the Ogre” (sorry mom) in my diary entries. We always argued about how late I could sleep in, daily chores, whether or not I could nap, what I wore, what I ate, and so many other things that are par for the course in the lives of mothers and daughters.

This did not improve as I entered the teen years. I will skip over that part as now that I’m an adult, I can admit that about 98% of it was my fault-I don’t know what goes on in the minds and bodies of teens, but I’m so grateful it’s over. It’s like being taken over by an alien.

My 20’s were off and on, periods of time where we were on the same page and a lot of the time where we weren't. I was very unsettled, always on the move, changing jobs, cities, homes, and spending money that I shouldn't have been. Mom has always been routine oriented and doesn't deal all that well with change so I’m sure the fact that I was so different from her, must have grated on her nerves. But no matter how many times I messed up, convinced myself that I knew best and did what I wanted even though I asked for her advice, she was always there in the end to say “OK, you messed up, now let’s fix it”

I fell down a lot-mostly because of choices I made and actions I took. And don’t get me wrong, mom was annoyed and angry with a lot of the things I did, but, she was always there in the end to pick me back up.

She’s fiercely protective of me-and now that I’m older, I feel the same about her. It’s been a long journey for both of us, and it’s not been easy but I’m so happy with the relationship that we have now. She’s still my mother of course, but she’s now also my friend. This is not to say we will never be annoyed with each other or argue and disagree, but I think now that our relationship has changed for the better, we can listen to each other’s viewpoints with compassion and an open mind.

So I will close by saying Thank You for everything mommy-and I love you!