Conversations with the crazy cat lady…..

This is for Uncle T!! I would only humiliate myself like this for you!! :)

So, as I’ve said before, I’m a single gal, with 2 cats. I’m not sure why single females generally have cats as companions.  Perhaps as my mother says, cats are like little tiny women in fur coats….Perhaps it’s because they do their own thing, and only need you to provide basic necessities for them, and you don’t have to worry about them sticking their head in your crotch and slobbering all over your face.

I love all animals but I’ve been particularly fond of cats since I was a little girl. We always had them on the farm where I grew up, but when I was 10 my parents got me my very own special little girl to cuddle with and be my little baby. Her name was Tanya and she was a Siamese. Whoever said cats don’t have personalities is full of crap. It took a while to train Tanya to sleep in my room with me…she had that pesky nighttime wandering habit that lots of cats do. But after so many times of me going to fetch her and bring her back, she learned and stayed on the end of my bed and did so until she was 15 years old.

I started to notice that she wasn’t as spry as she used to, and would just curl up on the couch and sleep all day. I know there were several times where we thought she’d died, and dad and I did rock paper scissors to see which one of us had to poke her to see if she’d move. She always sat up and gave that Siamese baby like cry of “MEEEOWW” translation “F off, I’m trying to sleep you asshole”

Then she started having accidents in the hallway and I knew that it was time…..she even looked at me with her big blue eyes and I knew she was humiliated at what she’d done and was begging me to let her go…

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I made myself stay in the room until she was gone. Since I had such a big hole in my heart I tried to fill it with a new kitten that needed me that same day.

Milo was cute, but he was insane…..

After he shredded my legs and my face a few times I decided he needed to go.

As I was waiting to turn him in, a lady brought in a cage full of feral kittens she’d found. I couldn’t resist the little orange tabby one that came right up to the cage and was begging to be held. I picked her up and she snuggled right in. The lady suggested I tuck her under my shirt and take her home…I was reluctant at first but then the little baby won me over. I named her Molly. She was taken far too young from her mama, so that’s who I became. She even went so far as to climb up on me and suck on the collar of my shirt. She was pretty clingy for a cat, so I figured she needed a friend.

Back to the SPCA I went, and came home with Guinevere. I call her Gwynny for short.

Gwynny and Molly did not get along all that well at first but now they cuddle together and have lots of fun.

Molly is quiet, neat, hardly ever meows, eats her food properly, doesn’t pick on stuff and is generally the sweetest little girl.

Gwynny is a holy terror…..

She’s long haired so she leaves clumps of hair all over my house. I have solved this by pretty much scalping her, she looks like a gross rat, and has a look that only a mother could love, but at least there isn’t’ tumbleweeds of fluff floating around. She scratches, she’s messy, disruptive, a bit of a bully, and meows constantly.

It always looked like she was trying to tell me something, so I gave it a shot…

G: “MeEOW”

Me: “What’s a matter little girl, had a rough day?”

G “Meeeow”

Me: “You don’t say? Well maybe you should ask Molly nicely not to kick you in the face?”

G: “ Meoow, Meoww”

Me: “You did? Well what did she say?”

G: “Chirp chirp” (she chirps too)

Me: “Well what a bag, then what happened?”

G: “Meeeeooow”

Me: “Well I can’t help you; you’ll have to work it out for yourselves”

It was at this point, I had to stop because I realized I was actually enjoying the conversation……

Anyway, to summarize I guess, my girls are very different, and drive me insane in different ways. But at night when they cuddle up and start to purr, it’s very rewarding to know they’ve chosen me to look after them. Who needs human kids right??

I am happy with my two, but if I had room for more you bet your ass I’d get them!

Every day as I leave the house I say “Bye Gwynny, Bye Molly, Be good to each other and behave”, “Make good choices!”

Cause that’s totally normal….