Happy Birthday Grammy....I miss you!

Today is July 13^th. A typical Saturday for many people, but for my family it is the birthday of our matriarch and forever remembered Eileen Sophie Eleanor Weiers Mault. She would have been 81 years old today if the abhorred disease of cancer had not taken her away from us.

Eileen (or Grammy) as we kids called her was born in 1933 in Humboldt, Sask. to Fred and Gertrude Weiers and was the 10th of 12 children.

I don’t know much about her childhood-she never really talked about it with me or any of us kids for that matter as far as I know. So the focus of my post today will be the woman I knew in my lifetime. I apologize if the memories seem random, but things get a bit shuffled as the years go by.

Grammy was not your typical “do what you want” kind of Grandmother-she did let us get away with just enough though to make us feel like we were soooo smart. But she wasn't afraid to let us know that we may be acting in a way that was just not acceptable. I remember once when I filled my glass of juice right to the top and she told me that perhaps it might be selfish and a bit greedy to take so much, as well as wasteful if I spilled it.

That was the last time I ever did that-even now, at the age of 31, my glass is never completely full. I feel like if I did, it would be insulting to the lessons she taught me.

But she still had that grandmother instinct to spoil as well. I remember once when I wanted an ice cream cone and she went to scoop it with a spoon and I pitched a fit. She promptly went out and bought an ice cream scoop so I could have “round ice cream”.   OCD much?

She loved music and to dance if I recall correctly. At our family cabin, we often had little parties with lots of music…and wine….and Grammy was always so happy and dancing around.

She and my Grandpa had 5 kids, and there are 11 of us grandchildren and yet there was room at the dining room table on Sundays for all of us. We lived about an hour or so away so we’d often come down for a weekend visit. For me it was just a given waking up on Sunday morning that at some point in the day the rest of the family would drift over... I’m an only child so it was a lot of fun for me to get to play with my cousins.

I loved to make her laugh and quite often did so unintentionally….for example….

My cousin and I used to play in the basement and one day we decided it would be a super smart idea to be like our moms and boil a kettle so we can drink hot water. So we found this old kettle, filled it up and plugged it in. As it happens, we were not smart enough to place the kettle near the plug in, instead choosing to string it across the doorway with the cord hanging down….

I remember thinking Ok Court, be careful, you don’t want to get burned. But I’m not sure if my cousin (who is the most accident prone girl I know) was as paranoid as I.

As a result-she tripped on the cord and the boiling water poured on her foot. It must have really hurt judging by the scream she let out. I raced upstairs and said “Grammy Grammy, Crys burned herself” She said “well whatever you do don’t let her take her sock off”….so I ran back downstairs…OOPS too late…now there are bits of sock fuzz in her burn…

Grammy gets downstairs, checks it out, and it wasn't as serious as we thought so she took Crys to emergency.

When they returned I remember Grammy looking sternly at me and saying “Courtney Lynn, you are the oldest, why didn't you watch her?”

To which I replied “But I did, I watched her trip over the cord and I watched it spill on her foot”

Grammy tried to hold it in, but she couldn't-she smiled and laughed at me and gave me a hug. No matter what you did or how you were feeling, a hug from Grammy was always safe and welcoming.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer sometime in the 90’s but successfully went into remission. We were scared but confident in the end it was over.

Just after Christmas a few years later, was when she told us it was back. I remember thinking it was awful, but it would be as easy to beat as last time.

Unfortunately I was wrong-due to some medical complications-they were unable to control it and it spread throughout her-ravaging the body of a once robust and vibrant woman.

She was so thin-and weak and fragile and had to wheel around with her oxygen. And although she didn't look like Grammy anymore, she still retained her sense of humor.

She once told us girls ,who are a  little hip heavy that “If she’d been thin to start with she’d be dead and cancer was the best diet ever” We also went out for lunch once and a wasp was in the car and it stung me right under the arm. Hurt like a son of a b. But instead of babying me, Grammy said “Well better you than me….”

I believe she refused medical marijuana since it didn't come in black licorice flavor and she wouldn't have been able to smoke it- so she and my mom came up with a plan to bake it into brownies and she could eat those with her shake drink supplements. 

In the end though, they decided that wouldn't be a very good idea since Grandpa liked to ‘snack’ at night.  

The thought of my Grandpa eating ‘special’ brownies and imagining what that would be like would send my mom and Grandma into waves of laughter anytime someone mentioned brownies.

For the most part, we all tried to carry on as normal-but I could see it was beginning to take its toll on my mom. She was the one who took Grammy to all her appointments and knowing how much my own mother means to me, can imagine it must have been extremely difficult for her.

It was August 4, 2001 when I got the call. The rest of the family had gone to the lake and I stayed home. I was napping when one of my Uncles phoned me and told me that Grammy had gone into a coma.

The family was called and everyone met at the hospital where we just sat with her and remembered all the good times. I tried my best, but it was just too hard for me to be there and I didn't want to remember her that way, so I wasn't there that long. Instead, I ran errands for my Grandpa and hid away as much as I could. Sometimes I regret my decision and think that I should have stayed but I know she knows I have always been extremely sensitive about stuff like that, and wouldn't hold it against me.

She of course, in typical Grammy style waited until everyone could be there from wherever they had to travel, and with her last breath on August 5, she left us.

As sad as it was, and still is (I’m actually having quite a difficult time writing this-I've got my tissues nearby) I know that she is still around making sure we are all OK. Sometimes I can smell her perfume for no reason and when I’m feeling low and sad I can feel her arms around me; comforting me, like only a grandmother can. Even as I sit and write this I can feel her near me making sure I remember what I need to. I know she’s seen birthdays and weddings and I’m pretty sure she’s waiting for those great grandchildren to be born (Anytime now guys…..).

She is gone only in body. She will always live on in spirit-and in us!

Happy Birthday Grammy-Hope you’re having one hell of a party up there!

XXOO Courtney

Eileen Mault 1933-2001