Reality TV…….friend or foe?

I remember when we first moved to the city from our small little town.  For the first time, I had access to hundreds of channels compared to the peasant vision we had on the farm. For those of you who do not know what peasant vision is-it is the bunny ears television set that gets two channels, has no remote (except you-the child)and is filled with all the wonderful quality programing  the CRTC will allow. Soooo not much.

Anyway, being 13 and all of a sudden in the “big” city, I developed a bad habit of watching hours and hours of TV. I distinctly remember my mom telling me to go outside and get some sun because TV was rotting my brain. But oh the things I watched! There were reruns of old shows, sitcom after sitcom, a whole channel just of music videos and one of cooking shows. I was in heaven! But my all-time favorite channel was the History channel! I absolutely loved all the shows they had on there about the ancient Greeks and Romans, battles and myths. Archeology digs in Egypt, Pyramids and mummies. What was even more awesome was I could get McDonalds AND watch TV (partially how I ended up being a citizen of fat town)

Eventually though, as time went on, I noticed a few changes. My beloved Food Network filled with hours of actual cooking shows became Food Network Canada (which blows by the way) and had programs like Top Chef, Restaurant Makeover and Chopped added to the lineup. They were all competitions or “reality” tv of some kind. Nobody cooked on a channel that is called the “FOOD NETWORK”

My music channel that played music videos now consisted of shows like The Hills and Jersey Shore. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of spoiled rich kids run around? As it turns out, I had heard that The Hills was like 90% fake or what they call “scripted reality” Um…if it’s scripted it’s not reality……

Even my beloved History channel added some “reality” to its content…..

Then the Bachelor and Bachelorette started…..I have seen these shows of course, but it’s beyond me how anyone thinks they could find their true love in front of the world after such a short amount of time and with a bunch of other men/women as “competition” I always laugh when I hear that so and so broke up….Well duh!

I have to admit, American Idol was interesting, the first season……after that, meh…. It’s at least a talent based show though, so there seems to be a bit of a point to it. I also thought Amazing Race and Big Brother were neat-again, only the first time around. There is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”

But, at least those shows seem to be competition of some kind. There is a purpose and an end point. What is the end point or goal of “Housewives of (Insert City name here)? They don’t do anything except host parties and fight with each other? If I wanted to watch that, I would watch wrestling.

I also recently saw one called “Big Rich Texas”….I didn’t watch it, but I’m assuming the general idea is that these people are rich and live in Texas. Again, how boring is my life that I’d want to sit down and watch somebody else live theirs?

Don’t even get me started on the Kardashians…I’ve never seen a group of more snotty, self-absorbed, entitled brats in my entire life. (Except for maybe Paris Hilton)

Allow me to get to the point of my little rant though. The first days of reality TV were kind of interesting. There were cool competitions and original, interesting concepts. But now there seems to be a reality show about everything and I swear it’s making people more stupid.

I recently read about a couple in Pennsylvania who decided to watch the finale of American Idol. They apparently had a bit to drink, and started arguing about who should win. They then retrieved knives from the kitchen and stabbed each other…………..

Clearly these two are not altogether there in the first place, but c’mon….stabbing? Really?

I know when I was a kid I watched a lot of sitcoms which aren’t all that intellectually stimulating but I at least balanced it out with a bit of learning. I don’t want to generalize too much but I bet there’s a lot of kids today who can tell you anything about Kim Kardashian and have no idea who Caligula is…..Which person do you think was more important in the larger scheme of things?

I predict that there will continue to be a rise in these types of shows until there is nothing left but reality TV. When that day comes, I will be cancelling my cable and making more use out of my library card.

That’s just my two cents.

When did I get old?...............................

Last Friday I made plans to have a girl’s night out with some gals from work. In my world, girls night out after work is a pub where I can sit my a$$ down and do not have to stand, there is no music thumping  or flashing lights hindering my ability to speak and think, and I get to have a glass of wine or two and go home to my comfy bed.

I forgot that I was going out with people who were younger than me……

Happily, we did get to go to a place where I could sit down and I had a drink and something to eat and I was having a good time chatting and enjoying the atmosphere. I noticed however that for the one glass of wine I had, the youngling’s had about two beers that had a fancy name that I cannot remember-and shots…they all were doing shots. Once you get to a certain age my friends-those will make you awfully sick…..

They did not appear to be sloppy or otherwise extremely impaired but they were drinking awfully fast. I had forgotten that when you are that age-the more the merrier. I met so many people who I have NO idea who they are or what their names even were.

I had also forgotten that back in the day sometimes it’s easier to just take the total tab and divide it by the number of people. I do not know how that seemed logical to me at the time; maybe because everyone drank the same thing at the same pace? But on this particular evening it did not seem all that logical for me to pay $75 for 4 drinks-1 of which I gave away. So, being an apparently old stick in the mud, I voiced my opinion of this and then paid my fair share. I’m not sure if the youngling’s thought I was rude or not, but happily, part of being “old” is that I do not care J

I ended up staying at a friend’s place after a cab dropped us off. (Safety first) and as much fun as I had with her and appreciated the offer, it was kind of difficult to sleep someplace other than my own house. I then thought back to when I was in my 20’s and after a night of debauchery, you just laid your head wherever there was room no matter how well you knew the person. That then led to the thought “Oh my God, do people realize how dangerous that is?” Followed by “Yep, I’m sooo old”

Anyway, after a somewhat short but refreshing sleep I woke up and drove my friend back to her car and went home. I thought to myself “I’m kind of tired, so maybe I’ll just have a bit of a siesta” Cuddled up on my couch, turned on my tv and waited to fall asleep….and waited…..and waited some more. Then I got a back cramp from lying there and had to get up and do something. “Definitely old”

I can admit, sometimes I don’t understand why buying a new set of knives that are so sharp makes me thrilled beyond belief, or that staying home on a Saturday night organizing kitchen cupboards is extremely satisfying-because I feel like deep down I should be “fighting” the old and being out and about and young and carefree for as long as I can.

Then I stop and think “Well hell no, I don’t think I actually want that at all” Being young and insecure and unsure of your place in the world, not knowing what you want or thinking you want something you really don’t. Doing things you can’t explain other than “I thought it was a good idea at the time” Being uncomfortable in your own skin as you struggle to find out who you are. No thanks! I went through it once; I do not care to do it again.

Sure, it sucks to have the responsibilities that come along with aging-bills to pay, less time for yourself, your body begins to turn on you (that hasn’t quite happened to me yet-but I’m sure any day now….)but the tradeoff is actually beginning to look ok to me.

I know what I want out of life-I have my goals and my ambitions and I don’t need anybody’s approval to do things or not do things. For a long time, even up until very recently I had so much pressure on myself to meet certain milestones by a certain age, just because some of my peers had. Once I realized though, that the pressure was coming purely from me, I just relaxed and let it all go. Right now, no-I don’t want a husband and kids and a minivan and to take someone to soccer practice. Am I allowed to change my mind in 3 months, a year, two years? Absolutely! For now though, I like things exactly as they are. That is something that I would have never admitted in my 20’s.

I recently had a conversation with an old friend, and he said he’s just looking for “the one” and wants a family and to settle down. He is in his mid-20’s and it’s so sad to see in him what I went through myself. Soooo afraid to be alone, terrified if you don’t find someone right now this absolute minute you never will and that there is a time limit on your happy ending. He’s trying to find the “one” through sheer quantity and I wish I could get him to see what took me so long to figure out myself-the more you grasp at something and fear you will never get it, you never will. You will choke the life right out of it. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and I wish I had learned it 10 years ago.

I had heard for a long time that when you’re in your 30’s you will probably feel about as comfortable with yourself as you ever will as things start to level out. And I’m happy to say so far, it’s turning out to be true!

I’m looking forward to the rest of my journey.

“Dieting” is hard……

I always knew I’d write about this again at some point, because I feel deep down that if I’m making a “sacrifice” of some kind the world needs to know about it. That and I think I’m just a complainy complainerson J

*I’d like to say before you continue reading that I went back and forth over posting this. I don’t want anyone to think that the tone of it is sad and pitiful, or that I’m looking for congrats or kudos. It’s merely a narrative of my own journey, and I believe laughing about previously painful moments means you’re really healed*

As I have mentioned before, I lost around 40 pounds a year or so ago and so far it’s not been terribly difficult to keep off. I try my best to eat healthy and at least try to exercise (I’m not sure if yoga counts as exercise or not?) But it doesn’t mean that I’m not tempted a LOT of the times. But, it’s a lot better now than it used to be.

When I was a kid, my mother was the health food nazi. A treat for me was when dad had his nightly bowl of either Captain Crunch or Fruit loops and sometimes, just sometimes, I was allowed to have some. Since we lived on a farm, things like McDonalds etc were a rare occurrence. And obviously there was the occasional pizza, chicken and fries night etc. But generally speaking I was pretty healthy. I even was on the no carb kick before it was popular. I hated having buns with hot dogs or hamburgers and preferred to eat the innards of a sandwich without the bread. I remember my mom yelling speaking to me softly “You put that on some bread!”

Then when I was 13 we moved to St. Albert. There were vending machines at school, and a fast food restaurant or convenience store on every corner. Since my mom couldn’t and didn’t think she needed to monitor me at the age of 13, a lot of my money went to chocolate bars, cookies etc. I loves me some cookies….and brownies!!!- Basically sugar and chocolate wrapped in butter was my favorite. (So that’s like everything…..)According to the research I’ve done now, and I’m pretty sure common knowledge at this point-sugar is very bad for you. And when you mix sugar with fat, you’ve got yourself a problem. I have never been one of “those” people who take a bite of a cookie and say “Oh that’s good enough for me, that’s too much” You people disgust me…(but I only say that because I’m jealous that I can’t, I don’t know if I was born with that gene) That mixed with this cool new thing we had called cable tv and I was on my way to fat town. I hung out on the outskirts of fat town for a while-until I made it to high school. There, you’re forced to mingle with people who seem to have come out of the womb beautiful, thin and had tons of friends and were just so happy!!! (I really hope some of them peaked in high school….just sayin’) I myself, was so shy I could barely speak without stuttering, felt awkward all the time and was just generally miserable. When you’re 15, things in your mind are just sooo much worse than they really are and I thought if I had a cool, edgy hairdo I’d feel better (I love 15 year old logic…) I wanted a haircut like Monica from Friends, and the lady at the mall essentially gave me a bowl cut. Did I look like Monica? No I did not; I looked like a Backstreet Boy……

Does this look like a hairstyle a 15 year old girl would like? NO!

Then, my parents divorced and I was crushed. Why yes I would like to swim in that bucket of ice cream thank you very much. What’s that fat town? You’ve accepted my application and I’m a full citizen now? Hooray!!

I struggled off and on for the next 10-15 years. When I was happy I’d celebrate with junk food, when I was sad I’d soothe myself with junk food. Just a vicious cycle of one trend and then another. You feel bad for eating that way and then you eat some more to feel better and then you feel bad again. I’m not sure how many “I’ll start on Monday’s” I had, but it was a lot. I remember one particularly bad time after I swore NO MORE JUNK, I went grocery shopping and I came across some brownies. They looked so good and I fought with myself so hard to not get them, but in the end I gave in. “I’ll just have one” (remember I don’t have that gene) and then “well one more” and then it was “Hmm, if I eat them ALL now, then they won’t be here to tempt me anymore” My dad came home to his daughter with brownie all over her face crying “I can’t do it, I can’t”

It was a tough 10 years in a world where so much emphasis is placed on your outside. And of course if you don’t like your inside, how are you supposed to make it match your outside?  So I struggled on. I was living in Calgary in Feb of 2012 when I had my “moment”. Everyone who’s ever lost weight knows this moment. It’s where you finally look at yourself and say “I can’t do this to myself any more-I deserve so much better than this” My moment came on Feb 14, 2012. Valentine’s Day-I detest this holiday and it was shaping up to be yet another solo evening. My work bought everyone at the company 6 cupcakes from one of those places where they have fancy combinations and they’re so good and moist and YUMMY. I had one, then another…took a break, had a third, etc and then by the end of the day I realized (I’m sooo ashamed to admit this, but I swore I’d always be honest on here) that I’d eaten them all…….

I was absolutely disgusted with myself and how I’d let my feelings affect me physically so much. I had my “moment” and the next day I went into serious detox. I felt absolutely awful for the first three days as my body was being cleansed of sugar, refined carbs and all the crap I’d put in there.(My mother, who was visiting at the time can attest to how cranky I was) But then it got a bit better and better etc. I found that my “cravings” were only in my mind, not my body and that if I stayed busy and focused I could overcome them. I drank a LOT more coffee as a tradeoff but I figured that isn’t sooo bad. From Feb-Oct 2012 I lost around 40 pounds and 5 sizes. Yes I love to shop now and I can fit most anything in the store and I’m happy blah blah, but I’m more proud of the fact that I actually loved myself enough to let me be successful. It’s still a struggle some (a lot of) days. I think being a food addict is much like being an alcoholic or drug addict, with the exception that I actually have to have food to live. I give in to my temptations a lot more now that I’m at a stable weight but I try to do something to counteract as much as I can. And I think I have a pretty good balance!

Sorry fat town, I’m movin on….

I should have known better…….Court’s Salon Adventure

I keep an ongoing list of things I’d like to write about, but sometimes something comes up that just takes precedent.

Case in point: my adventure last week with eyelash extensions (I apologize in advance-this is a long one)

I have seen these eyelash extensions before-on some of my friends on their wedding days etc, but I didn’t really think it was something that someone would pay money for on a regular basis. In fact-I didn’t even think of them at all until one day at work scrolling through the internal buy/sell list I see someone is selling a coupon for eyelash extensions for $29.

Now, if you know anything about this (and I didn’t) research into various salons will put these bad boys at around $125 and upwards. Which I happen to think is ridiculous (except for special occasions of course) but at $29- that seemed like a fairly reasonable price to see what all the hub-ub was about.

So I purchased the coupon and set out to book my appointment. At this point, I would reeeeeaaallly like to tell you the name of the salon, but to be honest I’m not 100% sure of the legality of that because I’m going to bash them pretty hardcore in the next couple of paragraphs….

So, according to the instructions on the coupon-you’re supposed to text in your appointment request. Ok, a little odd I thought but hey, I’ll get with the times. So I texted “Hi there, my name is Courtney, I have a coupon number ****, and I’d like to book an appointment for eyelash extensions. Do you have anything on May 24^{th or} 25th? Thank you”

I think it was about 5-6 hours later I got this response “No”

Um….okay….

I text back…”What days do you have?” No response. So I figured, ok maybe they’re busy, I’ll just call. First time I called, their voicemail was full. Second time I called, I was able to leave a message but of course they did not return my call. So, at this point, I’m getting a touch testy, so I send this text “Excuse me, I have a coupon that I’d like to use for a service you provide-my texts have been ignored and my calls have gone unreturned. Is this the way you treat all potential new clients?”

Well imagine my surprise when I got an almost immediate response-but not a very nice one. “FYI, you’re just one of the hundreds of text messages we get a day and sometimes they got lost(how do you lose a message unless you delete it?) and we were closed for a couple days last week.” (Hmm that would have been handy to put on your outgoing voicemail…)At this point I was tempted to write something back equally snotty but since I still wanted the service I held my tongue (which if you know me at all is REAAALLLY hard to do)

So, I was able to book an appointment for the following Thursday and on that day I drove to the salon which I have to say was in kind of a sketchy part of E-Town. First little twinge…

I get out and go inside and upstairs where I see: 4 beds all in an open area, a little tiny desk and I think a supply closet….second little twinge...

Then this big giant black dude comes over and says in a voice that can only be described as Mike Tyson-esqe “Ok, You’re over here with me….” Third little twinge (even though that one was a tad judgy on my part)

Why did I continue and ignore the twinges? I generally always ignore the twinges because I’m a big ol’ scaredy cat half the time and I’m not sure sometimes if the twinges are proper gut feelings or just me being a scaredy pants (7 out of 10 times I guess wrong)

So I lay down on the bed and he informs me I can have “luxurious eye patches to help with undereye circles for only $10 or adhesive tape”  I go with the eye patches because a) they sounded lovely and b)I’m allergic to adhesive tape-btw the pads did nothing....

So he tapes down my lower eyelashes with these pads and tells me to keep my eyes shut NO MATTER WHAT! This begins to frighten me a touch, as I’m not entirely sure what the process is at this point. But naïve little Court that I am, figures he’ll explain as he goes along. No-he did not. He just kept moving back and forth from eye to eye, putting on the eyelashes I assumed, and singing along to the very loud R&B station that was thumping in the background…(where was the relaxing spa music?) I then come to find out halfway through that he is also the tattoo artist there….for some reason a big scary tattoo artist putting on little bitty lashes makes me a tad uncomfy but I figure well I’m kind of stuck now.

Then the BURNING started. Now that I know a little more about it, I figure it was the adhesive that somehow got in my EYES and was causing a reaction!!! I wanted to ask what the hell was going on but oh- Mike Tyson has disappeared without a word, and its dead quiet in there and my eyes are burning and closed and I do not know what the hell is going on!!!! So I gather my courage and say “Um,hello? Excuse me? Is anybody there?” Snot head says “Yeah” I say, “This is a tad uncomfy-how long am I supposed to sit like this” “About 10 minutes” I figure Ok, this really hurts but I’m a trooper, I can handle 10 more minutes. (I think about an hour in total had passed by now)

Then all of a sudden I hear a jingle and a rush of air coming at my eyes which startled me quite badly and I jumped. Mike Tyson said “Don’t worry, I just be drying your eyelashes” (no I’m not being racist-that is exactly what he said!!) So I said oh ok….

Then silence again, but this time I know Mike is still there because I can hear his bracelets jingling as he DANCED around the salon....

Then he comes back, puffs of air in my eyelashes again and says I’m good to go, so I sit up and open my eyes and they water and tear and burn so bad. He says that’ll go away when the glue dries…OK. So I look in the mirror and there are my lashes…looking like I went to the Dollar Store and bought myself one of the fake eyelash strips and stuck it on myself. This does not please me and my dander gets even more up when I go to pay for the eye patches and find out that I must now pay a mandatory 15% gratuity on the cost of the full service. $29 for the Coupon-$35 for everything else.

So I go home and notice my eyes are super bloodshot….this is oh so attractive with my new eyelashes but I figured they were just irritated so I went to bed. I woke up the next morning and my eyes were itchy and sore and RED! I looked like I had just come back from a 4 day bender.

I went to work and I think I made it to lunchtime without actually giving into the urge to tear at my own eyes. Got some eyedrops and it helped a bit, but not much. I went home and got some different eyedrops and that helped to clear it up eventually. But I wondered what had gone wrong.

The next day (Saturday) I went to a place here in town and asked one of the girls there what had happened  She said it looked like they were put to close to the lash line and they were all one length (apparently you’re supposed to use 3) No wonder my eyes were irritated!

So I booked an appointment for Monday night to have her fix them (thankfully only $20 because she was still working on her quotas) But I figured hey-she probably had more training than Mike!

It took her a long time to remove his mistakes and fix them up, and she did briefly end up kind of gluing my eye shut, but all in all, it went much smoother. No burning or pain or anything.

Verdict-they are super cute (when done properly) but way too expensive and hard to maintain. They keep hitting my sunglasses and tangling in themselves. Once they drop off, I will likely not get them again.

I did contact the coupon place and they’re working on getting my money back for me.

Thanks for hanging in and reading the incredibly long post!!!

Until next week……