Body Shaming…. Acceptance……or Flaunting?

I struggled to decide what to call this post. I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit lately, but with my decision to try and remain positive and not contribute any more negativity than necessary, it’s not as easy to write as some of my previous posts. I do think, however, that there is a way to question something that you may not understand in a non-judgemental way. And of course I’m talking about the little things; people’s personal choices that may not necessarily “harm” anyone. I fully believe that there is pure evil out there and that should definitely be judged, and dealt with accordingly. But I digress…

The idea has been sort of floating around in my mind since the whole concept of body shaming vs “acceptance” hit social media a while ago. I wonder if society knows that the difference between  really, truly being proud of your body is actually quite different than being insecure and seeking approval from others about it. 

Case in point-Kim Kardashian. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone post so many selfies of themselves as her (except maybe other members of her family) and recently she’s decided to pretty much just stand there naked and take pictures and post them because she’s proud of her body. OK, I get that and let’s say that’s true-why does she need us all to notice? To me, that would actually indicate the opposite, that she is striving to gain approval from the world to fill some sort of insecurity?

Perhaps that is my reasoning because I have struggled it with myself. To veer off topic for a bit, I have many times complained to my mother that no one “liked” my Facebook post. As if that was somehow indicative of my worth as a person. That someone has to find me funny or attractive or intelligent based on something I decide to post online. And like only a mother can, gently soothing the sorrow of her child’s heart my mom responds with “So? Who gives a shit?” Simple, but effective mom-thanks :)

So, now I post things I like or want to say or think are funny (still within my own positive guidelines) and I try really hard not to give a shit what anyone thinks. 

But back to the topic at hand now that I’ve deviated to explain that I am in not immune to either feeling.

So, Kim posts these selfies and many people say she shouldn’t because it’s indecent and where’s the line while other people defend her right to post that she’s proud of her body and accomplishments( I use the term loosely when referring to a Kardashian) and it's her right to do so. I think I tend to fall more within the first group. Whatever the reason you post these things, as someone who can affect people either positively or negatively you need to be conscious of the effect you might have on somebody. There could be a young girl out there who sees that and decides that’s what she needs to do to be liked or that her worth lies in following what Kim does. If I’m that susceptible at my age, even knowing that the world is full of photoshop, filters and plastic surgery, how easy would it be for a young girl to get the wrong impression and think it’s not only all real, but attainable? Now you have a generation of boys being raised to think that women are nothing more than their looks and they have no need to treat them with respect or any kind of courtesy and a generation of girls being raised to think that this is how you get a boy’s attention.

Even last night as I was in my yoga pants, drinking a beer and having some pizza (I cleaned ALL day-I totally deserved it) my roommate had some people over to “pre-drink” as the kids these days call it, before heading out for the evening. I’m sure these young ladies were intelligent, nice, perhaps even funny but I’m not going to lie- ALL I saw was T&A.  Like a LOT of it- enough that I had to retreat to my room because there was nowhere else to look and I was starting to feel kind of like a perv.  I would like to think that they are a bunch of confident young ladies heading out for a girl’s night on the town intent on having their own fun regardless of what other circumstances the evening may bring. But to be honest- that’s just not the impression that I got. And because these ladies are 10 years younger than me, it actually made me very sad because they’re learning to be adults in a world where exposing yourself like that is the "correct" way to get attention. Could I be totally wrong in my assumption? Absolutely! I don’t think I am though.

Does this mean I don’t think you should ever take a selfie or post a photo of yourself because you think you look pretty or you feel good about yourself-not in the least. Post away! But you can be just as proud of how your body looks with clothes on as without and just as proud looking in your own mirror as posting online.

If a man walks around on the street with his junk hanging out, chances are he’s going to get tagged for indecent exposure. So how then is it any different for a woman such as Kim Kardashian to walk around in essentially a mesh shower curtain with all her bits showing? Just because you have the “right” to do something doesn’t mean you should. Does this mean I go out in a turtle neck and long skirts-no, of course not. But there's a line people!

OR… maybe I’m just a big ol prude and don’t understand the difference between what today’s women call confidence and low self esteem.

Anyway, that’s my two cents…..I’d be curious to know if I’m alone in my thinking? If I am, maybe I’m the one that needs to change?

Thanks for stopping by…..